Heavy, Joyful Hearts

...And our hearts just about jumped out of our chests when we received our first email from Grace on November 9th...

It's been awhile since we've updated our adoption blog, and there's a reason for this. On November 8th we were contacted by our adoption program with the news that an expectant mother had seen our profile and wanted to talk with us about the possibility of entrusting us with her baby. But, we wanted to wait to share the news until there was something sure to share.

To protect this young woman's identity, I'm going to call her Grace. Grace asked that we reach out to her by email, at first, to break the ice and start to form a relationship.

Of course, we sent her an email right away on November 8th filled with high hopes and excitement. We couldn't wait to hear back. And our hearts just about jumped out of our chests when we received our first email from Grace on November 9th. Not wanting to seem too hasty, we waited a day and responded to her on the 10th.

Then nothing.

For four weeks.

During that time, we reached out to Grace once per week, as instructed by our adoption coordinator, to remind her that we are here, that we are praying for her and her unborn baby, that we care for them both dearly.

This morning we finally heard back from Grace. She had had a miscarriage. She didn't respond sooner because she was emotionally overwhelmed.

She apologized. Twice. To us.

My heart ached both for the loss of this sweet child but almost more over the pain and confusion that Grace must be feeling...to feel the need to apologize to us. We were able to send some comforting words over email to her, but I just wished I could give her a hug. There's something about touch that is soothing for the soul, and I wish I could have sent her touch.

We wanted to share this all with you, not so that you feel sorry for us or for Grace, but because we are all on this journey together. We are so thankful for the supporting words, funds, and especially the prayers that you all have showered over us. We ask that you continue to pray for us and with us throughout our adoption journey.

We originally called our adoption journey our "mission to find our missing piece(s)." We were tempted, at first, to consider this a missed or lost opportunity. But we believe that God has known and loved our little puzzle piece since before the foundation of the earth. And because of that truth, we can take comfort together knowing that this was never our piece.

This journey has been a rollercoaster. There have been exhilarating highs and desperate lows. So much is uncertain. But one thing we know for sure.

Our God is good .

One of my favorite quotes comes from a late professor, Mr. John Glock, who said, "God seeks His own will, the highest good, for the glory of God, in the object loved. Love is the highest good, and is seen, therefore, in the manifold goodness of God to His creatures." This is what we're choosing to rest in today.

For the Lord is good;

His steadfast love endures forever,

and His faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100:5

How can you pray for us?

• First and foremost, please pray that we would keep our eyes fixed on Christ who not only knows but holds our future and our family in His hands. Pray that we would know His peace that surpasses all understanding and that He would guard our hearts and our minds.

• Please pray that God would provide the funds we need to bring our little one home. Our puzzle fundraiser has raised about 15% of our known fees (adoption program marketing, pre-placement home study, post-placement home study). So far, the Lord has provided for EVERY installment we have needed to submit. We trust that He will provide the rest!

• Please pray that Christ would be a light shining in and through us to those who are walking this same difficult road.